Unwell
by Fritz Will Get You
Summary: Puss has been poisoned, and it's up to the others to find out why. Meanwhile, Puss has to put up with the challenges of being sick. Better then it sounds, I'm just bad at summarys. Read and review!
1. Donkey clothes? P

Hello everyone! I have returned! Okay, I'm a little fuzzy on how to do this so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes or the stupid font isn't working. glares I got this idea right after I watched Shrek 2, and I hope this comes out as good as I thought it would be, saying that my humor skills have died and left me talent less in that area. :) Sorry if the chapter is short, but my time on the computer is limited. And I don't own anything. Duh!

Let's see, this takes place a while after the movie, and Shrek and Fiona are visiting Lillian and Harold again for Fiona's birthday, don't ask me how old she is, I'll figure that out later. Donkey is there too, with one of his mutant babies, and Puss is currently single and hanging out at the castle with everyone as well, since he is the main character of this story.... --

The alley was dark and damp, with only a few rodents running around the shadows at this time of day. Usually the alleys were deserted, except for a few workers from nearby restaurants or someone taking a shortcut to Farbucks. The sun didn't shine much on this part of the alley, and the only sounds were the squeaking of mice and the sound of boots lightly walking over the pavement. And was that... purring? A few mice exchanged nervous glances as the purring became louder, and a cat stepped out into the few rays of the sun.

Puss in Boots purred contentedly as he wandered down the alley, happy that he was able to do some exploring outside of the castle. Since Fiona and Shrek were at the castle planning for Fiona's birthday party, and Donkey was showing his... er... child around Far Far Away, it was up to Puss to find something to entertain himself with. So he had slipped away from the maids who seemed to love his little furry self a little too much, hopped onto the nearest carriage downtown, and started his 'grand adventure' as it were. He had to be back in time for dinner though, and he knew it was almost time to head back.

Tail swishing in thought, Puss quickly made his way down the alley, turning out into the street that led straight to the castle. It was a little far, not to mention uphill. The feline sighed and looked around, wondering how much it would cost to get a ride up there. There didn't seem to be any around, and he was just about to start walking when he spied something across the street. With a smile he walked up to one of the carriages in front of Old Knavery, noting that it was an onion, and leaned against it, knowing who was inside the store. Just his luck.

After a few minutes Donkey came out, followed by his kid, who Puss couldn't remember its name, for some strange reason. Donkey was busy talking about the new donkey fashion trend that had swept over all the country and would soon be here in a couple of weeks, and that if his kid was a good boy then maybe they could go and get some cool donkey clothes. Puss didn't say anything about that, but he wondered what on Earth Donkey was thinking. Instead he said, "Hola, amigo. Might I ride with you back to the castle?"

"Of course! There's always room for friends!" This seemed to remind him of a song, because he sang all the way to the castle, and when Puss was just about to go insane with it, his kid started in too! By the time they arrived at the castle Puss was ready to throttle someone and skewer them with his sword. Luckily he didn't have to. Donkey's kid jumped out of the onion and up the stairs into the castle, followed by his dad. Puss climbed out gracefully and followed them to the dining room, where Fiona and Shrek were waiting for them.

It was a really good meal, except when Shrek and Fiona held a belching contest and he had to be the judge, and then Donkey's kid belched and burned the milk that was for Puss. One of the chefs gave Puss a new drink, and it was really good, even though it wasn't the same.

"What is this? It's really good." Puss asked, holding up the glass of the unknown liquid.

"Uh... I don't know, I think it's something new that the chef tried. I'll tell him you like it." Fiona answered, belching again.

"Maybe it's some kind of new Farbuck's drink." Puss murmured, draining the glass and purring quietly. He was still purring when he excused himself from the table and went back to his room. Since the bed was rather big, on top of it was a basket with some blankets and a pillow. It was just the right size for him. Yawning, he kicked off his boots and laid his hat on a chair, leaving his sword by the basket, and curled up in his bed.

He awoke to feel a searing pain in his stomach, and he moaned quietly as he tried to get up. All he could manage was a few feet before the pain struck again. ((I've had stomach aches like this before, and it's true, it hurts so bad you can't walk. shudders)) After a few moments the pain subsided, and he was able to sit up and think. What was happening? Puss had never felt pain as bad as this, and he had no clue what caused it. Shrugging, he climbed back into bed, ready to believe that it was a dream. Right as he closed his eyes the pain flared up, and he vomited over the side of the basket. Moaning, he coughed and whimpered as the pain went away again. Shaking, he curled up in the basket and shut his eyes, wanting nothing more right now for it to stop. And it did. Before he knew it he had drifted off into a restless sleep full of nightmares and other horrors full of pain and despair.

Okay, review and tell me what you thought. I will post more if I get at least one POSITIVE review, since I've got most of this planned out and I actually have time to do this! Yay! does happy dance


	2. Something's not right U

**Hello again! Thank you for the reviews! It made me so happy! **

**Thanks to GCBillysgal, I might have to ask for some help, since I forgot to say that I am taking Spanish lessons, and I am not very good. But I'll try to get better! **

**And I am still thinking of a title, and all suggestions are welcome. Thank you Dracori for the idea of the title, I'll keep it in mind. **

**Last but not least, thank you so much to ladyisme, SHE REVIEWED FIRST!!! **

**Disclaimer is the same, don't own it, blah blah blah. **

The sunlight streamed in through the window, the first sign that morning had come. Puss in Boots blearily opened his eyes and blinked in the light, wondering why he felt so awful. Then last night came back to him and he groaned. He had hoped it was a bad dream, but the vomit on the bedspread proved otherwise. Remembering the stomach pain, he gingerly climbed out of the basket and stretched slowly. As he pulled on his boots and strapped on his sword, he noticed that it was quite early and wondered if anyone else was awake. Probably not, judging from the snores coming down the hall.

Taking a wet washcloth one of the maids had brought in the night before, he cleaned up the mess and gave himself a quick wash. Jumping down from the bed, he studied his hat for a moment and left it on the chair. No need to wear it right now. Puss slowly opened the door and peered out into the hall, ears upright and straining for any sound that indicated that someone else was up. Satisfied that no one would sneak up on him, he padded down the hall and headed towards the armory. That was the only place where he could practice his sword skills without accidentally skewering someone.

In no time he was at the door and inside. The feline smiled to himself. No one had seen him come, and he now had the opportunity to think over what he should do about the unexpected stomach pains. Should he tell someone? He drew his sword, jabbing the air and running through some simple but effective moves. No, he shouldn't bother. After all, it was just a stomachache. The imaginary enemies surrounded him; Puss jumped up high and flipped forward, striking behind him. Yes, he would keep quiet about it. No point in alerting someone about a little pain. He could handle it. Puss practiced a little more, then stopped when the smells of the kitchen reached his nose.

"Breakfast..." He muttered, sheathing his sword and opening the door. A maid rushed by, nearly stepping on his foot. Reeling back, he shut the door and blinked. Maybe he would wait a moment for them to go by and then head to the dining room. Fingering the doorknob, his emerald orbs gazed around at all the weapons, then widened as he caught a glimpse of himself.

He looked like something the cat dragged in; ((Pardon the pun, couldn't help it.)) his fur was dull and didn't hold that healthy shine it used to have, and his eyes were red around the edges. Stepping closer to the mirror, he raised a paw to his forehead and felt the heat rising from it. Surely his simple practice wasn't that strenuous. Shrugging, he quickly did everything he could to look better and walked out into the hall, where he was immediately bowled over by Donkey.

"Hey, Puss, have you seen Eddie? I can't find him anywhere!" Donkey exclaimed as Puss got to his feet.

"Ah, no. Sorry. Maybe he's in the dining room for breakfast with Shrek and Fiona." The feline said, wondering what would happen if a dragon donkey hybrid got loose in the castle. It was too strange a thought and he quickly focused on making it to breakfast without too much trouble. He was starting to get a headache. Donkey ran ahead to continue looking for his child, leaving Puss alone in the hall.

Rubbing his eyes, he sighed and watched Donkey go before walking after him, alert for a flying mutant dragonkey. His stomach rumbled, and the familiar pain started up again, making him stop dead in his tracks. "Not again...." Puss moaned, clutching his stomach and fighting back the urge to cough up whatever was left in his stomach. The pain was overwhelming, and he found himself yowling before the pain subsided. His vision was cloudy, black spots appeared in front of him, and he fell forward, giving into the darkness surrounding him.

Somewhere close to Far Far Away, a man watched Puss with anger as the swordsman collapsed. With a wave of a gloved hand, a servant was summoned and given orders to return to the castle and fix what was done wrong. With a bow the servant left to do its master's bidding, knowing that if it failed again the consequences would be worse than death.

"I will not let him do this again..." The master growled, his eyes narrowing as he continued to watch through the crystal ball, waiting for revenge.

**Sorry, but this is all I can do tonight, there is a test tomorrow in Science and I must study. Please review, and like I said before I am open to title ideas! I might not have time to update tomorrow, but I will try. Evil homework..... may it perish in the fires of my hatred! MWAHAGA!!!!! **


	3. Discovery S

**Yay! I actually have time to do this! Again, I apologize for small chapters, but I try to update every night and only have a certain amount of time to do that, so there are smaller chapters. :( Thanks for the title ideas, I will probably use one of them soon. Right now I have a lot to do and little time to do it. Hopefully I won't have too much homework this weekend and will be able to put longer chaps. Enjoy! **

"What happened?"

"I don't know. I was bringing some food to the kitchen when I found him like this. I think he's got some cat flu or something."

"How long have you been standing here?"

"Only a few minutes. Feel his fur, it's all sweaty. Poor thing." A hand ran over his forehead, very cold compared to how hot he was. He shivered and tried to open his eyes, but was unable to move.

"I'm going to go get some help, stay here with him. And if he does wake up try to keep him from moving around a lot." He could hear feet softly patter away from him as the speaker left. The other person was kneeling next to him, gently stroking his fur.

"It's all right, she'll be right back with help . . . Oh, I hope she does." The speaker murmured, mostly to herself. Puss tried to open his eyes again and managed to open them this time, even though only halfway. A young maid was sitting next to him, looking down the hall, not taking any notice that he was awake. She looked really worried. Swallowing hard, he coughed and managed to say in a weak voice, "What's wrong senorita?"

She jumped, startled by his voice, and looked down at him. "Oh, you're awake. You were laying here like you were dead, I didn't know what to do." A small smile of relief flitted across her face before turning into a frown of worry again. Puss twitched his tail and tried to sit up, but he was gently held down as she said, "No, don't get up. Ana will return in a moment, she wants you to stay still until she returns." Once again she looked down the hall, other hand nervously playing with the hem of her brown dress.

Puss didn't know how long he had been unconscious, only that he felt hot and sore all over, and his stomach felt like it was on fire. His eyelids felt like lead. What if the others found out? He didn't know how they would react, and he didn't want to find out. A famed ogre killer brought down by a little sickness? Puss would have none of that. Pushing the hand away, he forced himself to stand and pull himself together.

The maid stood. "Sir, I don't think you shoul– "

She was cut off by Puss, who said hurriedly, "No, I'm okay, really. I just have a head cold, that's all. I was resting here until my headache passed. I'll go take a catnap right now and feel better." He flashed her a weak smile and stumbled down the hall to his room. Twice he fell; the third time he couldn't get up and crawled inside his room, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. "Just... a cold..." He moaned, closing his eyes in pain. If he could just get to his bed, he could sleep away the pain and feel better. With a muffled groan he stood and stumbled over to the bed, climbed up to the top, and sprawled on the blanket. Just a few moments of sleep....

He woke up feeling a little better, but his stomach still felt upset and he had a little trouble focusing. It was as if he had been using the catnip again, but he knew he hadn't because that was taken away ages ago by the knights. Puss yawned and rubbed the back of his head tiredly. There was a loud knock on the door, startling him out of his thoughts, followed by a female voice.

"Puss? Are you in there?" Fiona's voice came from the other side, muffled but worried.

Puss opened the door and tried to look wide awake and fine. "Yes, princess?"

"I was just wondering if you were okay, since you weren't at breakfast this morning." She studied him critically. "Are you feeling all right? You don't look so good."

"Ah, yes, I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all. I was sleeping when you knocked."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Puss. I'll let you sleep. Do you want me to wake you up for dinner?"

"Sí, that would be nice. Thank you." With a smile he shut the door. When he was sure that she had gone he rubbed his eyes and sighed. The pain was becoming unbearable again, and he knew it would be just a matter of time before he threw up and the others found out about him being ill. He didn't want them to think that he couldn't handle a common cold! With a moan of pain he couldn't handle his stomach and threw up again. When he opened his eyes and wiped his mouth, he looked at the vomit and knew that this was more than a common cold. Covering the floor in front of him was some orange hair, saliva, and... blood.

He felt frightened, since he had no idea what was happening to him, and he knew that he would sooner or later need to get help, or he would end up very badly. Panting, he opened the door and looked to see if anyone was around. No one was in sight. This wasn't good. Puss didn't know if he could make it to the end of the hall to call for help, but he had to. Using the wall as a support, he kept one arm around his stomach and one on the wall.

This seemed to work because he soon covered half the distance before feeling really dizzy and having to stop. He retched again but nothing came up, and he wiped sweat off his fur and continued. Someone was coming near him, and as they turned the corner he saw it was the maid, Ana. Seeing what kind of state he was in, she gasped and caught him before he fell again.

"I knew that when Sara said that you were okay that it was a lie." She said, picking him up and cradling him in her arms. "Don't worry, I've called for a doctor. Just relax and we can get you help. Goodness, you are hot." The last part was to herself, and she pulled out a wet washrag and laid it on his forehead. It was too big but it felt heavenly on Puss's fevered body, so she kept it there to cool him down.

The servant climbed up onto the horse that was too large for him and galloped away, the letter safely tucked away so it wouldn't get wet. The rain was falling heavily but it didn't matter. The master wasn't one to be merciful when angry, and the small servant would rather face rain than him. In a couple of days the letter would be delivered, and the chance for revenge would come.

**Hah! I was able to finish tonight! Yay! Anyways, I will try to update tomorrow, but don't expect it to be long. I need to watch Shrek 2 again to get my brain flowing, but I LOST THE DVD!!!!!! Once I find it I will be happy again! For now just review please! I like getting them, but then again, who doesn't? Hah. I need sugar.... bye!**


	4. Gasp! Cheese? S

**Alas, but I still haven't found the DVD.** **But I do have enough time to quickly update. Tomorrow I might be able to put more, since I don't have much to do then. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you make me continue even though I just want to sleep!** **I'm thankful for the support.** **Sorry for short chapter, like I always say, but I am trying to keep updating. I don't own anything except for the two maids, who I might be auctioning off someday.... just kidding.**

Puss in Boots's vision was hazy, but he could still see well enough to notice that the maid was taking him back to his room. He took a deep shuddering breath as she came across the blood, but she didn't say anything about it, she just stepped around it and gently laid him in his basket, making sure that he was as comfortable as he could get. The cloth was removed, to be replaced with his blanket and a pillow.

"I'll be right back, don't go anywhere." Ana left to get the doctor, leaving Puss to fight for consciousness. It was so hard to stay awake; he felt like he had just fought a thousand men and received many wounds from the battle. With a little moan of self pity he curled up and tried to shut out the noise of many people coming down the hall towards his room. The maid had left the door open.

"Puss! What happened?"Shrek exclaimed as he saw his friend. Donkey wasn't too far behind, but his kid and Fiona were nowhere to be seen. It was probably for the better that too many people didn't see him like this, Puss thought as he tried to smile. He failed and started coughing instead.

"What's wrong? Have you been taking catnip again? I told you that drugs were bad." Donkey said, walking closer to the bed. Shrek helped Ana clean up the blood and sent her to get Fiona. He looked at Puss and tried to seem unworried, but in his voice Puss could tell otherwise. With a sigh the cat sat up and shivered. Shrek pulled the blanket around him, and the feline smiled gratefully.

"No, Donkey, I haven't had catnip... I don't know what's wrong." He was shaking, from being sick or fear it was hard to tell. "I felt like this yesterday, but not as bad. I thought it wasn't worth telling you." Puss pulled the blanket closer around him and closed his eyes as he felt a headache coming on. Fiona came in and gasped, immediately asking what was wrong. Puss said that again he didn't know, and there was an uncomfortable pause before Shrek spoke.

"Maybe it was something you ate? One time I ate some rotten weed rat, and then I was sick for days." It was hard to imagine Shrek in bed with food poisoning, but then again Puss never imagined himself like this. He shrugged, opening his eyes and saying, "I don't know, I didn't eat anything rotten or poisonous."

"Maybe it's a really really really bad allergy." Donkey suggested.

Puss shook his head. "No, I'm only allergic to cheese." Everyone stared at him. "What? Haven't I ever told you?"

"Uh... no, you did not." Shrek said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh. Well, I am." His headache was growing worse, and his vision was blurring again. "Oh... Why did this happen?" he rested his head in his hands and groaned.

"Why don't you get some sleep? One of us will stay here until the doctor comes." Fiona suggested, looking at Shrek and Donkey. Puss nodded, settling back down again and instantly drifting off to sleep. Donkey decided to stay, his eyes full of worry. Fiona and Shrek left to wait for the doctor.

"Please get better, amigo." Donkey whispered, laying his head on the bedsheets.

Fiona and Shrek were looking for the king and queen when they were stopped in the front hall by a guard. "Pardon, but there is a messenger waiting for you in the front hall. He says that it is urgent and that he cannot wait." Shrek and Fiona looked at each other in surprise and followed the guard, wondering what kind of message it was.

"Maybe it's a birthday song." Fiona said as they turned the corner and into the front hall. As Shrek and the messenger saw each other the ogre gasped and said, "You!" It was one of the workers at the Fairy Godmother's factory! The white suit and blue gloves were unmistakable, and the messenger recognized Shrek too.

"Uh... I have a... message." The messenger gulped, blinking up at Shrek. This was going to be interesting.

**And this chapter must end! NO!!!!** **Yes, I'm really sorry, but I had to stop and this seems like as good as place as any. In the next chapter the message will be revealed, and then the story will actually show that it has a plot! Gasp!** **Thanks again for the helpful reviews** **and hope you liked this chapter! I don't know why it's fun to torture favorite characters.... oh well!**


	5. CRAZY THING CHEWDONNA CAME UP WITH!

**Ha! I started this chappie early so I could get it to you sooner! I'm so kind. Except for when I wanted to burn and strangle someone... but that was one time only! I swear! Heh... Once again, thank you SO much for the reviews! They just make my day. Oh, and my good friend Chewdonna ((Not real name, I hope you figured that out for yourself)) came up with the idea for Puss's... uh.. mishap. Ah, the things we come up with in social studies class is amazing....**

The Fairy Godmother factory worker backed up a couple of steps, fingers tightening around the piece of paper that was the message. He hadn't exactly expected Shrek to be there, but it was too late now. The memories of being turned into a dove still haunted him; he was afraid of flying and had a few 'problems' with feathers. At least he got to poop on that idiotic Prince Charming. But thankfully he was back to his old self again, even though he still had to work for the factory under the new boss, or 'master'.

"Shrek, do you know who this is?" Fiona asked, noticing how they reacted to each other.

"He works for the Fairy Godmother." He said to her. Turning to the worker, he asked, "What kind of letter?"

"A letter from my master." With a lot of care the letter was handed over to the ogre, and as Shrek snatched it out of his hands he smiled nervously. Shrek opened it and read aloud.

"To Shrek and Fiona:

If you are reading this then that means my idiotic servant has managed to do at least one thing right this week. He is the one who poisoned your friend. If you take your friend to my home then I will heal him, and you will pay my price. If you don't, well, you know what will happen. Ask Monty if you have any more questions."

Fiona blinked. "Who is Monty?"

"Uh... me." The servant said, looking at the floor shyly as they stared at him.

"Oh. Okay. Will you excuse us for a moment, Monty?" Fiona smiled sweetly at him, then pulled Shrek into a nearby room and shut the door. "What are we going to do? Should we go take Puss to this person? If we don't...." She didn't finish the sentence.

"I don't know. If Monty did poison Puss, why should we trust him? He does work for the Fairy Godmother." Shrek looked at the letter again, then sighed.

"You're right, but we can't let Puss get worse. He looks like he's in a lot of pain. If taking him to this guy will make him better, then we should go. We can pay his price." Fiona looked into Shrek's eyes pleadingly, which seemed to work.

"Okay. But I think you should stay here."

"What? No way! Puss is my friend too, and I am going with you!" Without waiting for a reply she opened the door and walked out.

Meanwhile, Donkey and Puss hadn't changed, except that Donkey was now attempting to play Go Fish with a deck of cards that he had found. It was hard since he was by himself. Every once in a while Puss would shiver and moan, but then he would go quiet and submit to his nightmares. Donkey sighed sadly and went back to playing cards as his friend moaned again, ears flat against his head. He hated seeing Puss like this, and he made Eddie go back home with Dragon so the dad could watch over Puss without any other worries.

Puss opened his green eyes blearily, twitching his ears confusedly. What happened? He felt... strange. Wasn't he supposed to be sick? He didn't feel like it anymore. Maybe Shrek found some medicine and gave it to him while he was asleep. But why was his basket suddenly too small? Blinking in the uncommonly bright light, he yawned and stood, suddenly falling off of the bed. As he stood his hooves slipped on the rug and he fell again. Wait. _Hooves?_ Puss galloped out of the room and down the hall, stopping in front of a large mirror. He was a....

"A BURRO!?! Wha... how.... oh my...." Puss, now a bright orange donkey, gasped and backed away, still not believing what was happening. "How did I become... a donkey? I... I don't remember taking any potion." Taking a few hesitant steps toward his reflection, he stared into his eyes and knew that somehow this was him. Now he knew what Fiona had felt when she had first transformed.

Still not believing it, he blinked and sat down, making his ears go flat against his head, then back up, then flat again. After a few minutes of this he stood and walked into the dining room, running straight into Donkey. Donkey didn't even notice Puss's new transformation. Instead he said, "Hey, what's wrong? Wake up! WAKE UP! DON'T GO INTO A COMA!!! OH NO!!!"

Puss was just about to ask what the heck was wrong with Donkey when he felt a sudden push at his shoulder. He blinked and whirled around, wondering who did that. It happened again, and Puss felt the room dissolve around him. He didn't see it because his eyes were closed.

With a tremendous effort Puss opened his eyes, feeling as if the world had decided to beat him senseless and leave him out in front of Burger Prince ((Is that right? I couldn't really tell.)) for everyone to step on him. Donkey was leaning over him, face just inches away from his own.

"What's wrong? What are you doing?" Puss rasped. It had been a dream... a rather scary one too.

Donkey moved away a little and said, "You were screaming and yelling and I thought you were dying or something! What the heck were you dreaming about?"

"I dreamt that I was an ass like you." Puss muttered, feeling annoyed that he had been woken up. Another merciless headache was threatening to erupt in his head, and all he wanted to do was sleep. At that moment, however, Shrek came in, carrying a bag full of who knows what.

"Puss, are you feeling well enough to travel?" Shrek started, then told Puss of the letter and the worker at the factory. Puss sat up and wrapped the blanket around him, listening intently. At the end he said, "So.. This Monty poisoned me? Why?"

"I asked him and he said it was an accident, that he mixed the wrong potions and came up with a poison instead of a sweet drink, and it somehow ended up here." Shrek looked skeptical, and Donkey was busy muttering evil thoughts under his breath, but Puss made a peculiar motion at his side, as if he were trying to grab something that wasn't there.

Once he realized that his sword was gone, Puss asked for it, and Shrek replied, "I've packed it with your hat and boots. We're going to go with Monty as soon as possible."

**Horrible place to stop, yes, but I need to go to bed. BIG Spanish project due tomorrow, and I need to get a good night's sleep. Two tests and a big project all in one week! The cruelty! On a happier note, I hope you liked that** **little dream Puss had. Chewdonna came up with it when we were talking about this story, and I decided that it was too good (or strange) to leave out. Until later! Review por favor!   
**


End file.
